


Only Fools Rush In

by tinypersistence



Category: Actor RPF, Canadian Actor RPF, Carmilla (Web Series), Carmilla (Web Series) RPF, Carmilla - All Media Types
Genre: Don't harass me or actors/people in the story about this, F/F, Natlise, Negovanman - Freeform, RLS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-28
Packaged: 2018-09-01 07:39:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8615407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinypersistence/pseuds/tinypersistence
Summary: "But I can't help falling in love with you."In which Natasha and Elise practice the art of realism. Like the river flows, that's the way it goes.





	1. Too Still

A year. It had already been almost a full year since I’d last had an actual conversation with Elise, and even that had been uncharacteristically short. We’d talked about how we needed space from each other, in fact. I understood that, but by now I was nearly convinced that she had either been trying to drop the “I’m no longer forced to see you every other day, so goodbye forever!” bomb without sounding like an asshole, or that she’d forgotten about me entirely. Was any of it real? Did I mean even half as much to her as we had told magazines and cameras for the past four years? God, it felt real to me. At the very least, I thought we'd had a very strong platonic connection. I'd considered her closer to me than most friends in my life had ever bothered to get.

But as the days of radio silence went on, I was beginning to think that perhaps it had just been an act on her end. Maybe she even thought it was an act on mine as well. Play up our chemistry for the cameras or whatever.

But deep within me, there was still a flicker of hope. Hope is dangerous. Hope tells me that she could just be incredibly busy, or maybe she’d decided to isolate herself for some yoga thing, or that maybe she loved me too. I think hope may just be the most dangerous thing on the face of the earth.  
I’d been trying to act nonchalant about it. I didn’t bring it up in front of others, and if anyone asked I would tell a lie and say something like “Oh, yeah! We text all the time!”. But I knew that could only last for so long before people started pitying me about it, which is the last thing I wanted. So, I just kept my true feelings inside and allowed myself to brood on it in the privacy of my own apartment and mind.

However, this day… felt different somehow. Something felt too still. As a great believer in the power of intuition and the metaphysical, I could feel that something was off. I’d noticed that Elise had been silent not only to me, but to fans for several days. Nothing on social media or anything to indicate that she had even been online. Something was definitely not right. I went through the day with a feeling of unease settling in the pit of my stomach, and the folks at work seemed to notice. Steph was continuously shooting me glances of concern from across the room, especially when I’d skipped out on grabbing a bite with her and Paige, as was our usual Friday routine. 

By the time I got home, I was emotionally spent. At this point, even walking Charlie (which I usually loved) felt like a chore. I’d decided to call it a night incredibly early, hoping that perhaps my dreams would provide a much needed distraction. I grabbed a comfortably oversized shirt, tied my hair back in a messy bun, and refilled Charlie’s water bowl before heading into my bedroom. Thank god I no longer had roommates to keep me up. 

Almost on cue, my phone buzzed, giving me a start. It was a message from Kaitlyn Alexander. “Have you heard from Elise lately?” My heart jumped into my chest. Shit. I typed back quickly, so nervous that autocorrect had to help me out more than once. “No, I haven’t actually. Is she okay?” I bit my lip and erased the second bit, replacing it with “Is something wrong?”

I saw an ellipsis pop up under my message, and immediately became nervous when I saw how long they were typing for. “I don’t know. It’s been a few days since we’ve spoken, and it’s kinda weirding me out. Especially because she was going up to her parent’s place this past weekend for that thing she was gonna do.” I rolled my eyes. Apparently, no one tells me anything around here. “What thing?” “She didn’t tell you?”

My breath caught in my throat. No, of course she didn’t tell me about some important thing she was apparently doing. Why would she? “She didn’t,” I shot back, feeling tears prick at the corner of my eyes. No. Nope. Not gonna cry about this.

More ellipsis. “She said she was gonna come out to her parents this weekend.” My heart skipped a beat. Fuck. From what I knew of Elise’s family, which admittedly wasn’t a ton (although I could probably stay the same for most of us), they were all Mennonite and generally serious about it. Elise leaving the church had already caused a rift between her and her parents, which had only been patched through several years of gaining understanding. But this time? I can be almost sure that their daughter being gay could and would result in an argument at the very least. I couldn’t quite conceal my worry as I responded to Kaitlyn with a determined “I’m going to get in touch with her.”


	2. Baby, It's Cold Outside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be updating daily, as best as I can! I'm glad everyone is enjoying this so far! Remember, please be respectful of those in the story and remember that this is just for fun. Shipping should be in fan spaces only, and not shoved into the faces of actors!
> 
> Enjoy!

I wanted to be angry with her. I wanted so badly to be pissed about the months and months of silence hanging over the airwaves that she’d left me with. But in that moment, all of that meaningless shit melted away and I just wanted her to be okay. I tried not to spend too long trying to think of what I should say to her, considering the situation (personal experience told me that I shouldn’t meander around while someone is distressed). Anxiety forced me to type out the uncharacteristically chipper sounding “Hey Elise! Long time no see! Are you busy?”

I pressed send on the slightly out of character message, and waited. It took nearly an hour for her to respond, but she did, and I couldn’t have been more thankful. “Hey, can we talk?” I froze. I don’t know what I’d expected her to say, if anything at all, so this was more than a little disoriented. “Of course.” “In person?”

Shit. I had seriously not anticipated whatever conversation we had to go in this direction. “Where at?” I began to quickly throw on some warm clothes and brush my hair until my phone vibrated again. “Winny’s.” I figured. “I’m on my way.”

The Toronto night was absolutely frigid, although that was to be expected considering the winter season. Charlie gave me a very confused look as I left the apartment with a curt “Bye, buddy! Be good!” I felt bad for leaving him after I’d just returned home, but this was an emergency and I didn’t have time to find someone to watch him. I figured I’d call in a favor from Paige, if for some reason, I was gone for more than a couple of hours.

Luckily my Uber driver didn’t live much of a distance away, and he didn’t really seem to be one for talking it up, which I was grateful for at the moment. “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” played on the radio, and I took note of how creepy the song was. We arrived at Winny’s home relatively quickly. I’d only ever been there once a couple of years ago, but not much had changed. She lived there with her husband, whom I didn’t actually know that well, but I know that he makes music and he’s friends with Elise as well as several other people from my social circle.

He was the one who opened the door for me with a jolly smile and a quick pat on the back. From what I could tell, he seemed like quite the eternal optimist. Before I could even give him a proper greeting, a warm wall of energetic human seemed to hit me like a truck.

Elise had flung herself onto me so hard that it had taken my breath away, but I would have given all of my breath to her if she had only asked. I stood solid, holding onto her as though something was trying to take her away from me. And, at the time, it had seemed as though fate had tried and failed to do so. I drank in her scent as I all but buried my face in her hair. God, I’d missed her. Somehow even more than I’d realized. I couldn’t have been more happy than in this moment.

That is, until I realized that Elise was shaking. No, sobbing. My heart broke into a million pieces at this realization. What the hell had happened? She pulled her face up to stare directly at mine in what seemed like the first time in a millennia. “Hey,” she said, her voice breaking. Her eyes were red and it looked as though she hadn’t slept in a couple of days. This was incredibly out of character for her. Of course, she’d been known to endure sleepless nights before. She’s an actor. But the woman standing before me was emotionally spent and wasn’t bothering to hide it. That was what was out of character.

She must have seen the concerned look on my face as more tears began to form in her tired eyes. I lifted my hand to wipe them away. She leaned gently into my touch and closed her eyes as the tears fell. When her eyes opened, she locked a strong gaze with mine.

“You wanna go talk about it?” She nodded fervently, and lead me into a sitting room off the side of the foyer. Before she closed the door, I saw Winny’s husband (who had been almost forgotten about) smile sadly in my direction before walking towards the kitchen.


	3. Icarus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for keeping up everyone! Comments are always appreciated! <3 Let me know how I'm doing! I want to make this as good and in character (at least from my vantage point) as possible!

“And then, they essentially told me that… that I should change.” Elise’s voice broke as she recounted the disaster that was coming out to her very religious and conservative family. “They said that they would speak to me again when I’d ‘learned the error of my ways’, and my brother just… drove me home. I’ve never felt so humiliated, Natasha. I’d always thought that if something like that happened I’d be able to stand up for myself, y’know? But the moment came and I just couldn’t say anything. I froze up. And now it’s like I’ve been tossed into this new reality where my family thinks I’m all messed up and I don’t know how to deal with it. I’m still frozen.” She sighed, staring blankly into the middle distance. 

I noticed she’d been having trouble making eye contact with me throughout this entire conversation. Almost like she was looking through me. It was haunting. She snapped herself out of it and continued in a faux everything-is-alright voice “I don’t think yoga’s gonna make this one go away, huh?” She tried to laugh, but it didn’t reach her eyes. I gave her a sad smile as I caught her gaze. As soon as she’d realized that I could see through the façade, tears began to form again. She rubbed them away as quickly as they came.

My heart broke again. “Elise,” I said, resting the palm of my hand lightly over her’s. “It’s okay to not be okay. You don’t have to be alone.” I squeezed her hand lightly. Please don’t shut me out of this. I brought my hand up to her cheek and gently brushed away the tears that were beginning to fall. She looked up to me and locked her eyes with mine. In that moment, I felt as though I could feel her pain.

“Tasha…” she whispered, using the name that only she called me. It made my heart ache as I traced my thumb down her cheek, light as a feather. Like I could break her at any moment. But I know that’s not true. She’s stronger than the rays of the sun, and I was being burned.

At that moment, the door creaked open as Winny stepped into the room, tray of mugs with tea in hand. She was graceful and chipper as a deer in spring, obviously attempting to lighten the mood. “Hey, you two! I thought you might want some- oh!” She froze as she saw how close we were to each other. “Am I… interrupting something?”

Elise put on her faux mask of a smile, lightly brushing my hand away. “No, Win, you’re fine! Thank you so much for everything!” I nodded in agreement, although my heart was still aching for the woman beside me. “No problem! Hopefully this’ll warm you up!” I hadn’t even noticed that there were still flakes of powdery snow in my hair from when I’d entered the house. It obviously wasn’t as warm in here as I’d thought it was just a moment ago.


	4. Gravity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all! Sorry for the several days of silence! This week has been absolutely crazy for me! Between my uncle's wedding, my birthday, Thanksgiving... it was just not the best environment for writing. But I'm thinking I'll try to update every week day? How does that sound?
> 
> Thank you all for reading and enjoy! Please continue leaving comments! They are extremely appreciated! <3

A few hours of the three of us chatting flew by very quickly. We’d gone through two pots of tea before I’d even bothered to check the time. “Oh, shit,” I muttered, realizing that I’d been gone longer than I’d anticipated “I need to get home to Charlie. He’s not used to being left alone for such a long time.” “Aww, you’ve become one hell of a dog mama, huh Natasha?” cooed Winny, gathering our mugs from the table. “Oh yeah,” I said as I threw my coat over my shoulders and gathered my things. “Some might say I spoil him, but he’s just my baby. I can’t help it.”

I realized that Elise had gone very still and was staring up at me as though she wanted to say something. Our awkward eye contact lasted for only a moment before Winny shouted from the kitchen, “Elise, you’re welcome to crash in the sitting room if you’d like! I could roll out that old fouton and-“ “She can crash at my place!” I responded, causing Elise to jump slightly. “Natasha, you really don’t have to-“ “It’s fine,” I assured her, putting my hand lightly on her shoulder. “I want you to.”

Winny poked her head around the corner with a broad smile across her face. “Well, then I guess that’s settled! You guys good on tea?” 

Several minutes later, Elise and I headed for the door, Winny making absolutely sure that we were prepared to be out in the weather. “You guys let me know if you need anything at all, alright? Take care! I’ll call you tomorrow, Elise!” We nodded and smiled at Winny as we stepped out into the snow. Our Uber driver was waiting patiently at the curb. I opened the car door for Elise in a slightly over the top way. “Madame, your chariot awaits.” She chuckled and shook her head, like she always did when I made a stupid joke. God, I’d missed this. I’d missed her.

Elise looked out of her window all the way home. It was like she was trying to find something hidden in the night sky that only she knew about. I thought about grabbing her hand. I decided against it.

When we finally arrived at the front door of my flat, I could hear Charlie barking excitedly from inside. Poor little guy. I’m sure he’ll be happy for the extra company though.

Elise brightened up as soon as she started playing with Charlie, which warmed my heart in a way that I couldn’t describe. I pulled extra blankets, pillows, and pajamas out and quietly made Elise a warm and comfortable (or hopefully, at least) bed on my couch. I set up a diffuser for my essential oils and put a few drops of lavender inside of it. Hopefully that’d help her get some rest.

Elise noticed this and smiled softly at me from where she sat petting Charlie, who was now asleep in her lap. “You’re so sweet, Tasha.” There she goes, melting my heart again. “What can I say, I’ve got that good ol’ Greek hospitality thing going for me. That’s a thing, right?” “Oh, that’s definitely a thing,” said Elise, smiling through the yawn that followed.

“You ready to get some rest?” “I think so.” I smiled, and started towards my own bedroom. “Goodnight, monkey.” “Hey, Natasha,” Elise said, grabbing my hand before I could leave. I turned to face her. We were very close.

“Thank you.” I must have had stars in my eyes from the way I could feel myself looking at her. “No prob, Bob.” She stepped forward and gave me a tight hug, nuzzling her face into the crook of my neck. I held her as tightly as I could; like I was trying to keep gravity from making her float away. Her hair smelled like fresh strawberries. I wish I could have paused that moment and lived in it forever. 

“Goodnight, chicken.”


End file.
